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08 October 2009 @ 05:56 am
Broken Lullaby [Chapter 20]  
Title: Broken Lullaby
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: YunJae
Summary: Jaejoong was always the better twin, Yunho believed. He was popular, gorgeous, talented… almost everything he wished he himself was. When he pushes Jaejoong into traffic one day out of anger, he realizes he’s made a mistake and will do anything to get his older twin back. Even if it means visiting with the school’s occultist and being forced to do things just to keep Jaejoong alive.
Disclaimer: I am not lying when I say I don’t own them.
Warnings: Incest. Dark, dark incest. Well, attempted dark. XD Also, character death.

Previous: 00 // 01 // 02 // 03 // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // 08 // 09 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // 18 // 19 //

.::Chapter 20::.

Hankyung stood before the apartment door, hesitating to push the buzzer. This was something he had to do—he barely remembered what happened the night before with Heechul, but he remembered the bits and pieces of what they had talked about.

And the kissing…

He definitely remembered the kissing.

Hankyung’s face heated up at the memory of Heechul’s lips covering his own.

Shaking his head, he cleared his throat, reaching out to the buzzer. He had to break up with Jaejoong—for both of their sakes.

Jaejoong’s sake because Hankyung loved him. Hankyung loved him, but Jaejoong didn’t return his feelings—not anymore. It was easy to tell—he wasn’t as passionate anymore. His mind was always elsewhere and whenever they’d make love Jaejoong would call him someone else’s name.

Yunho’s name.

Hankyung didn’t understand—he was always sickened with the thought, but who wouldn’t be? They were related. But despite feeling disgusted, Hankyung lived under the one rule of love: Love is love, no matter the race, gender, age… even blood. No one could help it.

He was going to break up with Jaejoong for his own sake because… well, he didn’t exactly know. He wanted to see Jae happy, and if he was happy, then he himself was happy.

He also found himself growing quite attracted to Heechul. There was something about the older teen he found intriguing—he was quiet, but whenever something came out of his mouth, it was always something smart. Spunky. He had secrets—Hankyung saw them to be painful ones.

Hankyung couldn’t keep up his relationship with Jaejoong if he continued with his attracting with Heechul. It wouldn’t be right.

That’s why, he had to end it now…

“Are you going to keep standing there and wait until the little girl next door calls the cops on you, or are you going to come in?” Hankyung didn’t realize Heechul had already opened the door.

“Oh, um…”

“You here for Jae?”


“Cool. He’s in the kitchen.” Heechul backed away to let the taller man in and left for his own room. Hankyung swallowed, wondering if he remembered the night before. Heechul had left before he woke up that morning…

Hankyung decided to work on one thing at a time, and walked into the kitchen.


Jae turned away from the stove to smile at Hankyung. “You’re here? What’s up?”

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” He turned off the stove and motioned for the taller man to sit in a chair as he himself did so. Hankyung obeyed and breathed in.

“About us.”


Here goes… “We… we should break up.”

Jaejoong stared at him in disbelief. “Why?”

“It’s just…” Hankyung closed his eyes, trying to summon the words he had conjured up in his mind only moments before when he stood in front of the apartment. They were scattered now, and he couldn’t remember his reasons.

“It’s because I was dead, isn’t it?”

“No! That’s not the reason at all!” The Chinaman held up his hands. “It’s… just… it’s not the same.”

“What isn’t?”

“Everything, Jae.” He felt his words returning. “It’s all different… I still love you, care for you, but…”

“I love you, too!”

“Are you sure it’s not because you’re so used to me?” They locked eyes. “We’ve known each other for a long time. You’ve been taking care of me forever, so it’s only natural, right? You don’t have to force yourself anymore, Jaejoong.” Hankyung smiled a little. “I can take care of myself now. I’m strong; let me add that this decision was hard to make.”


“We really need to break up. It’ll be easier for the both of us.”

Jaejoong felt something lift from his chest—he didn’t know what it was, but he felt so much lighter, much more happier, especially since Hankyung seemed to understand. Understand what?

Jae wasn’t so sure himself, but he seemed to understand something.

Maybe this really was best for the both of them.

“Promise me things won’t be weird between us.” Jae said. “We’ll still be best friends, right?”

“Of course.” Hankyung nodded. The smaller teen sniffled and smiled a little.


With this agreement, Hankyung stood, “I better get going. You know… people to call, errands to run…” Jaejoong nodded. “See you later, then.”

“See you…”

Hankyung left the apartment and Jae stayed at the table. He felt lighter, but at the same time, incredibly hurt.

This was for the better, especially with everything he had been doing with Yunho…

Heechul found Jaejoong minutes later, crying with his face hidden in his arms on the kitchen table.

Neither of them knew of the broken-hearted soul walking away from the apartment to his lonely home, with the rain to mask his tears.

They were both lying in separate beds. Yunho knew that it was only a matter of time before Jaejoong made his way over so they could get it on. Only a matter of time…

Jae stared up at the ceiling with his arms over the covers at his sides. He broke the news of the break-up to Yunho only a little while after Heechul found him in the kitchen, but now neither of them knew what they wanted to say.

Jaejoong felt weird… having no one else to turn to anymore now that he wasn’t with Hankyung, and that the only person he was every going to be able to have sex with now was Yunho.

He didn’t know how either of them could go on like this.

Sitting up, he glanced towards Yunho’s side of the room—he could barely make out his brother’s figure in the darkness.

He got out of bed, making his way over to the other mattress; this in itself reminded him of how they were kids, sneaking into each other’s beds at night during storms for comfort.

It was Yunho who usually did the sneaking, but right now, Jae wanted the comfort.

He stood beside the bed for a moment, wondering if the younger teen had fallen asleep. Jaejoong lifted the covers a bit before getting under them, greeted by warmth emitting from Yunho’s body.

He moved closer, clinging to the bigger teen’s torso.


“Sorry… did I wake you?”



Things were quiet. Yunho was quite surprised he hadn’t been jumped—but feeling Jae like this was a nice change.

He turned over so he was facing Jaejoong, placing his arm around his waist as their legs intertwined.

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” The silence wasn’t awkward at all; eyes growing accustomed to the darkness, they quietly stared at each other. Yunho pulled the older teen closer as the other’s grip on him tightened.

“Did you know that in some cultures, if a pair of twins are born are the opposite gender, they’d be forced to get married because it was believed they had sex in the womb?” Jaejoong asked suddenly.

“…No, I didn’t know that, but thanks for that strange, wacky piece of information, twin of the same gender.”

Jae chuckled, “Sorry. I thought it was kind of cool.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, especially since they were forced to get together. No one would really care if they did it or not…”

“Huh… it probably goes a lot deeper than that, Jae.”

“I know.” Jaejoong rested his head in the crook of the younger male’s neck. He felt Yunho’s hands caress his back. He felt at peace for once—it was a wonderful feeling.

“I’m surprised you haven’t jumped me yet.”

“Me too.” Jaejoong mumbled. It was really strange—usually his urge would have come by now…

It was a good change, actually. Better than that excruciating pain that ate at him almost every day—especially better than him doing things to Yunho that he never remembered.

“Do you ever feel weird, knowing we’re supposed to be doing things like… you know…” asked Yunho. Jaejoong was quiet for a moment.

“I kind of do…?” He responded. “I mean… I should, right? But I don’t know… I guess I’ve gotten used to the thought…”


“What about you?”

“Well… yeah.” Yunho said. “We’re brothers, you know? It’s totally weird to me, but…”


“I sort of stopped caring…” This earned a chuckle from the smaller man.

“Glad to see we’re on the same wavelength.”

“Of course we would be. We are twins after all.”

“True that.” Jaejoong couldn’t remember the last time he and Yunho ever had a nice conversation like this; maybe it was the first.

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Yunho stopped rubbing his hand on Jae’s back.

“I’m absolutely sure.” Jaejoong backed up a little to look at him. “We had to break up some time… I’m glad it happened now, rather than later.”

“Mm…” Yunho watched him for a moment, pulling his hand away to trace his finger along the smaller bottom lip. He was grateful Jae wasn’t doing anything to stop him, especially when he began to trace his jaw line.

He placed his hand on Jaejoong’s cheek, running his thumb underneath his eye, feeling a small wetness.

“You’re crying?”


“Why are you lying?”

“Because I cried earlier today and I really have no reason to start crying again now.” Jaejoong was incredibly stubborn.

“Are you thinking of Hankyung?”

“Maybe just a little.” Jae placed his hand over Yunho’s. “I’m glad he was the one who ended it, but I feel horrible. Like he could read me—he could read the pages in my mind that I couldn’t even read. There was something he wanted me to know, but he didn’t tell me.”

Yunho pecked him on the lips. For comfort. “Everything’s going to be okay. We know Hankyung and he knows us. If he was hiding something, he’d let us know when he’s ready.”

“Yeah.” Jae grasped his brother’s hand and brought it back down and around his waist, scooting even closer to the bigger teen.

As if they couldn’t get any more closer.

They could feel the other’s heart racing; Jae clenched Yunho’s shirt tightly in his hands as Yunho pressed his hands into Jae’s back.

If anyone had walked in on them and didn’t know any better, they would have thought the two to be lovers—maybe it was an unspoken agreement between Jaejoong and Yunho, maybe not, but at that moment, they couldn’t help but think of themselves as such.

No matter how wrong and sick the outside world would have seen them, neither of them really cared anymore…

.::End Chapter 20::.

A/N I have nothing to say about this chapter. SOOOO...
Comments are love?

Current Location: House
Current Mood: sicksick
Tburntmuffins89 on October 8th, 2009 12:14 pm (UTC)
Back to spot LOL! I keep stealing spots! No time to read! Tonight! Promise :-)
Tburntmuffins89 on October 8th, 2009 03:42 pm (UTC)
Agh, I'm pretty glad that they broke up. I hope hankyung and heechul get together! Plus I'm really glad for Yunjae 8D
narisa reinarisa_rei on October 8th, 2009 12:40 pm (UTC)
glad that Hankyung broke their relationship..
it was the best for both of them.. and Yunho, and also Heechul..

the last scene was so sweet~
yaya!: 재-(L)yaya_yunjae on October 8th, 2009 12:53 pm (UTC)
eeekk!!at first i kinda felt sad for hankyung and jae,but right after that yunjae were too awesome/sweet!^^
kimheechulmikikimheechulmiki on October 8th, 2009 01:06 pm (UTC)
Ok good now that Hankyung is out of the picture all focus would be one Yunho and Jae Joong! Sweet second half of the fic. I love the bed scene, no smut just sweet love! Thanks for the update.
momonohana12 on October 8th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC)
I'm so happy that they're finally together!That bed scene was the best sweetest thing ever read *_*
I'm happy with the break up though. At least now Yunjae can try to be happy together and hanchul too maybe u.u
npriyanpriya on October 8th, 2009 01:56 pm (UTC)
hey.. that was a really touchy chapter... it ges really well when listening to the original sound track oh HEADING TO THE GROUND drama....ah~~~~~ it also pains to know that hankyung is hurting.. poor guy.. cant wait for more.... thank you fr the update
Cami de Leonkami_no_kami on October 8th, 2009 02:10 pm (UTC)
yes! i've been waiting for a chapter like this!!! so painful yet sweet!!!! X)

it's a different kind of forbidden that i've never EVER read. I shall keep reading this~~~ and hooray for 20 chapters of angst and drama goodness~<333


(and i knew you'd be updating at this time. i'm getting the idea of when you update so yay! :D)

shall save this chap~ sooooo good.
{Reijeux}chibireina124 on October 8th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
Haha, my actions have been read! I better change when I update. XD *starts updating an hour earlier* j/k

Thanks~ ^^
kpopangelkpopangel on October 8th, 2009 02:41 pm (UTC)
I can imagine the sight of them cuddling each other on the bed, doing nothing but seeking solace from one another.. priceless...

I'm sad too about jae and hankyung's breakup.. hankyung is such a nice man.. he seemed to love jae so much and jae cared so much for him too.. but nothing beats our yunjae, nae? <3
kattan69kattan69 on October 8th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
Phew! Thank god that the Chinese boy broke off with Jae. One less guilt would be better for him...^-^
(Deleted comment)
minzetherealcanvas on October 8th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Even though its a little evil to say this but..
Finally Hankyung out of yunjae's way..haha
The conversation between yunjae at the last part give off some kind of warmy feeling...
Love it<3
konnakonna_chan on October 8th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
yes!jae and hankyung broke up!!and that last scene was so sweet~
jaeluvsmejaeluvsme on October 8th, 2009 05:08 pm (UTC)
sorry for not leaving any comments in the previous chapters but i love this chapter so much!

i love sweet romantic cuddling more than hot smex. lol im weird =.='
kazumiookazumioo on October 8th, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)
yunjae love <33333
ユンホは ジェジュンの中にいたまま、 寝ました。: jae - cuteharu_ran on October 8th, 2009 07:37 pm (UTC)
“Did you know that in some cultures, if a pair of twins are born are the opposite gender, they’d be forced to get married because it was believed they had sex in the womb?” Jaejoong asked suddenly.

“…No, I didn’t know that, but thanks for that strange, wacky piece of information, twin of the same gender.”

Eeeeeet~ does that mean I shall get married to my twin-brother?! O.o
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~ >/////////////////////<
Thank god that this isn't a part of our socieaty. *phew*is relieved*
Man, I was shocked. xDDDD

Anyway, am really curious how this will end, hun. o.o
Keep going, sweetie. ^^
{Reijeux}chibireina124 on October 8th, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
Isn't it scary?! XD I heard about it a long time ago and was like, "...WHUT. THAT'S DUMB."

Thank goodness, huh? LOL I'd be really freaked out too, if I had a twin brother. XD

The more you know! Haha, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.

I'm curious as to how it will end too ;D Thanks for reading so far ^.^
ユンホは ジェジュンの中にいたまま、 寝ました。: jae - fuckharu_ran on October 8th, 2009 07:52 pm (UTC)
Ah~ really? I thought you came up with it yourself. xDDD
Where have you heard about that? I'd like to read about that, too. You know, as an ethnology student I'm really curious about other cultures. x3

Yeah, knowledge really is power. xDDD
And definitely a lot of fun. *hehehehehehehehehe*
{Reijeux}chibireina124 on October 8th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
Nope nope, true fact. XDDD I can't remember where I heard it tho =[ It was a documentary thing on TV, that's all I remember ^^; Crazy stuff though, crazy stuff LOL

ユンホは ジェジュンの中にいたまま、 寝ました。: jae - cuteharu_ran on October 8th, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC)
I see~ I would like to see that, too. *pouts*
Ah~ but you have to admit that it's rather interesting. xD
{Reijeux}chibireina124 on October 9th, 2009 01:10 am (UTC)
It is interesting. XD I just love how people think sometimes, it's amazing ^^
ユンホは ジェジュンの中にいたまま、 寝ました。: jae - cuteharu_ran on October 9th, 2009 06:57 am (UTC)
True that. It's suprising me again and again what crazy stuff there is outside. xDD
now i'm just chillin', feel like i'm healingbambayahh on October 8th, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
soooo happy that Hangeng broke up with Jae before really finding everything out the hard way like Henry had (though he sort of has a clue). also, it means that YunJae's story won't end exactly like Siwon/Heechul/Henry's story! :] (at least i hope)

and YunJae's relationship seems to be going well. before, Yunho's actions towards Jae were more of someone obsessed rather than in love. but now, it's different. (lol idk how to explain, that sentence is worded awkwardly.) xD
ichlibedi_anichlibedi_an on October 9th, 2009 01:47 am (UTC)
ah.. it's really nice seeing them talk from heart to heart with one another.
as for hankyung, i have respect for him. although it break his heart, but it is the right thing for him in order not being hurt more deeply than this, and well.. i hope he can be together with heechul ^^
BoBoxaznxxangelx on October 9th, 2009 03:03 am (UTC)
im glad hankyung ended it before it got worse but so sad :(
xxryexxxxryexx on October 9th, 2009 03:58 am (UTC)
Ahhh..finally it's over btween Hankyung and JJ...well it's better then left them two suffer for too long...
kaitoumai on October 9th, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC)
It's been so long seen the last time I visit your Livejournal... Finally I can read Yunjae's love because your hard work...
Thank you so much..... love.....
★locofruitcake on October 9th, 2009 06:38 pm (UTC)
ahhh. hankyung did the right thing, so generous of him to be so giving though... and not judging them much

the yunjae here was especially sweet. just seeking comfort in each other's arms without any other intention<3
rethzneworldrethzneworld on June 21st, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC)
aaaaaaahh this is so sweet :) love the revelation :)
kikouri (샤오뤼) (최종 아름답습니다.)kikouri on July 31st, 2010 06:50 pm (UTC)
i hope hanchul get together...... and that jae stops feeling bad about it